"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." -Galatians 6:9
Weariness has come in many forms this month for me. It has come in the form of nasty emails sent without thought. It has come after a meaningful discussion with Santana, Carlos, Jaden, or Ty'Shawn only to find them throwing a new tantrum, trying to steal my clipboard, running away from me, or biting another scholar only minutes after our "sincere" conversation. It comes with looking at the clock reading 5:00pm and knowing there are hours more of grading, cleaning, and planning to do before I would feel prepared for the next day.
So how do we find the strength not to give up and the let the weariness choke out the life within us? How do we carry on when we do not know the proper time at which our harvest will be reaped?
We must hold fast to the One who never grows weary and allow the Holy Spirit to inspire new perspective on our work. A confrontational email can turn into an opportunity to build a deeper relationship. Not giving up on conversations with students and trusting that at the "proper time" those sincere words will play out in their actions. Finding a new way to prioritize my work so that what needs to get done is finished and trusting that if nothing else my spirit will be at peace.
In at lease one area of my life I have had the pleasure of reaping a beautiful harvest in this season. My middle school volleyball team played their last game on Saturday to become the runner up of the Northeast Ohio Charter Volleyball League. More importantly the girls learned how to encourage one another, build their self-esteem, and improve their volleyball skills. One of the best moments of the season for me was driving one of my girls home and hearing her say..."that other team doesn't even act like a family."
If we trust the One who makes the harvest possible it is with great confidence that we can carry on knowing that our weariness is not forever.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Boomerang
Last week I had a day that should only happen in movies it was was so bad. First, I received some feedback from an observation in my classroom and discussed why I was so frustrated with my classroom set up. The phone call ended with me crying because after all the reaching out I had done to colleagues and admin I could not see a light at the end of the tunnel for me or my students. Every suggestion I made was shot down. Then I went to the Kids in Need station where they refused to let me shop with my co-teacher because my registration hadn't gone through. The manager finally let me walk around and then found me talking with my co-teacher about some poster board and told me "you'r not registered to shop, good-bye..." The icing on the cake was an email I received that dropped me into the "depths of despair", as Anne of Green Gables would say it. One of my administrators told me I wasn't coming from a place of love or understanding towards my students which was causing my instructional delivery to be negative and overwhelming. I was told to "be nicer". I cried for most of the night and contemplated for the 1000th time quitting my job.
This week the same administrator that had been quick to give so much feedback came into my classroom to teach a lesson. She had beautiful anchor charts, assigned talking partners, and a clearly well planned lesson (not so unlike several of mine). However, my challenges quickly became her challenges. She struggled to get them all on the carpet from their desks and played the game of putting out behavioral fires while attempting to teach a lesson on teamwork.( La'Mya stop banging the pipe...Jaden come sit on the carpet. Why are you so upset right now? Carlos I need your hands folded and legs folded, you may not lay on the floor.) There were 6 adults in the room (superintendent, director of teacher development,director of curriculum and instruction, principal, me and my co-teacher and still very little learning was happening. There was a small part of me that wanted to say... "I told you so," but I refrained. She informed me that day that she now understood why my co-teacher and I were both so frustrated and overwhelmed. As my co-teacher and I prepped for parent teacher conferences we discovered that 16 of our students are below grade level in math and reading and at least 10 of them need an individual behavior contracts. I still feel like my room is a circus, but the productive thing that came out of this chaos was an achievable action plan to attack the biggest problems that our classroom is facing, a lack of respect for themselves and others.
At the end of the day today each student had to share with the class how they would make our family a better place. Antonio told me he was going to be respectful to his neighbors and stop moving his desk away from them. Mikal told me he was going to stop disrupting the class with tantrums. Melissa said she wasn't going to play in the bathrooms anymore. I am looking forward to a time when all these promises start coming to fruition.
This week the same administrator that had been quick to give so much feedback came into my classroom to teach a lesson. She had beautiful anchor charts, assigned talking partners, and a clearly well planned lesson (not so unlike several of mine). However, my challenges quickly became her challenges. She struggled to get them all on the carpet from their desks and played the game of putting out behavioral fires while attempting to teach a lesson on teamwork.( La'Mya stop banging the pipe...Jaden come sit on the carpet. Why are you so upset right now? Carlos I need your hands folded and legs folded, you may not lay on the floor.) There were 6 adults in the room (superintendent, director of teacher development,director of curriculum and instruction, principal, me and my co-teacher and still very little learning was happening. There was a small part of me that wanted to say... "I told you so," but I refrained. She informed me that day that she now understood why my co-teacher and I were both so frustrated and overwhelmed. As my co-teacher and I prepped for parent teacher conferences we discovered that 16 of our students are below grade level in math and reading and at least 10 of them need an individual behavior contracts. I still feel like my room is a circus, but the productive thing that came out of this chaos was an achievable action plan to attack the biggest problems that our classroom is facing, a lack of respect for themselves and others.
At the end of the day today each student had to share with the class how they would make our family a better place. Antonio told me he was going to be respectful to his neighbors and stop moving his desk away from them. Mikal told me he was going to stop disrupting the class with tantrums. Melissa said she wasn't going to play in the bathrooms anymore. I am looking forward to a time when all these promises start coming to fruition.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Extra
This week has been a lesson in the word extra. For those of you who don't converse in cityspeak Extra means too much as in that boy's hat is extra or that girl's hair is extra or in my case those kids of yours need a lot of extra. My class is comprised of 15 students receiving title services (testing significantly below grade level in math or reading), 3 retained first graders, 2 IEPs (Individualized Education Plans), 4 students who are currently seeing a therapist and about a dozen more who need to be seeing one. To say that my co-teacher and I's job is tough is an understatement. I often make the analogy that we are doing a juggling routine of trying to keep all our kids learning and happy and all too often one or more of the balls drop.
As an example let me share with you a snippet within our classroom. I greet each student as they come to their lockers. B is almost always in a gloomy mood and I am lucky to get about 4 words out of her before she goes to class. J refuses to take ownership of his action (pushing someone out of line in the bathroom) yesterday and I have a 10 minute discussion with him about using kind words and kind actions. When I arrive in the classrooms after checking all my scholars homework I find M off the carpet walking around, S hugging the pipe that is next to our carpet, B crying at her desk and C with his back to Mrs. S and his feet stuck out. I begin triage. I ask M and B to sit on the carpet, then begin threatening with a countdown and a consequence. She and he comply but are both angry. I remove C from the carpet and have him sit in time out. He is frustrated and started beating the wall with the chair. I take 5 minutes to de-escalate him talking in a calm voice and asking him why he is frustrated. I tell him what he needs to do to get out of time out and move on to S who is still hugging the pipe. I issue a consequence and S decides to fall on the carpet. I issue another consequence and remind S that if he wants to achieve his incentive of being the line leader he can only get 2 consequences before I take his job away. S chooses to sit up but he is still slightly angry. All of this takes place between 8:00 and 8:15. In a word... extra.
So what do you do as a teacher who knows a new trick to try with each of these challenging kids but has so many of them it is difficult to implement them consistently? So far I have reached out to other colleagues with more experience and done my best to get parents in the loop. However, these interventions haven't been entirely successful. So that leaves me in this uncomfortable space of knowing I can't meet all of my kids needs and wanting desperately to see that they are successful. It is here that my roommate and Dad reminded of vitally important information. These students are not mine first. They belong to God first and if I equate my success with how my students perform I will constantly be on a roller coaster of circumstances. On the other hand, if I trust Him to provide for my students and place my success in the finished work of the cross I open myself to the Kingdom perspective for each of my kids that God has entrusted to me for this year... and in a word provide all the extra they need.
"Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."
-Psalm 73: 23-26
As an example let me share with you a snippet within our classroom. I greet each student as they come to their lockers. B is almost always in a gloomy mood and I am lucky to get about 4 words out of her before she goes to class. J refuses to take ownership of his action (pushing someone out of line in the bathroom) yesterday and I have a 10 minute discussion with him about using kind words and kind actions. When I arrive in the classrooms after checking all my scholars homework I find M off the carpet walking around, S hugging the pipe that is next to our carpet, B crying at her desk and C with his back to Mrs. S and his feet stuck out. I begin triage. I ask M and B to sit on the carpet, then begin threatening with a countdown and a consequence. She and he comply but are both angry. I remove C from the carpet and have him sit in time out. He is frustrated and started beating the wall with the chair. I take 5 minutes to de-escalate him talking in a calm voice and asking him why he is frustrated. I tell him what he needs to do to get out of time out and move on to S who is still hugging the pipe. I issue a consequence and S decides to fall on the carpet. I issue another consequence and remind S that if he wants to achieve his incentive of being the line leader he can only get 2 consequences before I take his job away. S chooses to sit up but he is still slightly angry. All of this takes place between 8:00 and 8:15. In a word... extra.
So what do you do as a teacher who knows a new trick to try with each of these challenging kids but has so many of them it is difficult to implement them consistently? So far I have reached out to other colleagues with more experience and done my best to get parents in the loop. However, these interventions haven't been entirely successful. So that leaves me in this uncomfortable space of knowing I can't meet all of my kids needs and wanting desperately to see that they are successful. It is here that my roommate and Dad reminded of vitally important information. These students are not mine first. They belong to God first and if I equate my success with how my students perform I will constantly be on a roller coaster of circumstances. On the other hand, if I trust Him to provide for my students and place my success in the finished work of the cross I open myself to the Kingdom perspective for each of my kids that God has entrusted to me for this year... and in a word provide all the extra they need.
"Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."
-Psalm 73: 23-26
Friday, September 6, 2013
Full Circle
This week was tryouts for the first volleyball team that our school has ever had (no not my first graders, our sister middle school, Entrepreneurship Prep). I hadn't realized how much I missed coaching until the first day of tryouts where I got to give my girls a pretty good speech. "I deal with 1st graders... that I love all day long, but if you start acting like one of my first graders you will not be playing on this team." We had 32 girls try out for only 12 spots and it broke my heart not to find a way to have all the girls play on two teams. However, I am so excited to get to invest in these 12 lives and give them another incentive to do well in school.
One life in particular has a special meaning to me... one that deserves a little back story from last year. Imagine teaching a class where every child is following directions except one little girl, who refuses to listen to you no matter what you do. I had her eat breakfast with me each morning while I greeted scholars at their lockers. I made her a special behavior chart for her desk. My dean gave her a specialized incentive in order to help her behave in class. I called her parents. I brought her grandma in for a conference. I got her grandma to observe her in class. I tried framing directions positively. I tried tough love. I tried giving her breaks in other classrooms (when I could get her to leave our room). I tried taking away computers, specials, etc. I tried taking her to the library on Saturdays. I tried talking to her therapist and working to create a behavior plan. None of these attempts were successful so she was finally asked to leave the school, which was incredibly bitter-sweet. On the one hand, I was grateful for the opportunity to finally build our classroom culture and on the other I watched all the investment in our relationship walk out the door without ever feeling like I broke through.
What does this have to do with my middle school volleyball team? Her older sister tried out and was one of the few who made it. I told her to tell her younger sister how much I missed her and that I still thought about her. Lo and behold the second day of tryouts J and T (her brother who was also dismissed from our school for behavior issues) showed up and both of them gave me giant hugs and told me about their new school (another successful charter) and how happy they seemed. It was medicine for my heart to see J smiling and excited about life again and (selfishly) to know that I handed completely screwed up her education. I look forward to investing in her older sister's life and giving back to their family. My hope is that they will know how much our school cares about each of the scholars in our Village.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a]have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:12
One life in particular has a special meaning to me... one that deserves a little back story from last year. Imagine teaching a class where every child is following directions except one little girl, who refuses to listen to you no matter what you do. I had her eat breakfast with me each morning while I greeted scholars at their lockers. I made her a special behavior chart for her desk. My dean gave her a specialized incentive in order to help her behave in class. I called her parents. I brought her grandma in for a conference. I got her grandma to observe her in class. I tried framing directions positively. I tried tough love. I tried giving her breaks in other classrooms (when I could get her to leave our room). I tried taking away computers, specials, etc. I tried taking her to the library on Saturdays. I tried talking to her therapist and working to create a behavior plan. None of these attempts were successful so she was finally asked to leave the school, which was incredibly bitter-sweet. On the one hand, I was grateful for the opportunity to finally build our classroom culture and on the other I watched all the investment in our relationship walk out the door without ever feeling like I broke through.
What does this have to do with my middle school volleyball team? Her older sister tried out and was one of the few who made it. I told her to tell her younger sister how much I missed her and that I still thought about her. Lo and behold the second day of tryouts J and T (her brother who was also dismissed from our school for behavior issues) showed up and both of them gave me giant hugs and told me about their new school (another successful charter) and how happy they seemed. It was medicine for my heart to see J smiling and excited about life again and (selfishly) to know that I handed completely screwed up her education. I look forward to investing in her older sister's life and giving back to their family. My hope is that they will know how much our school cares about each of the scholars in our Village.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a]have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:12
Friday, August 30, 2013
It's A Wonderful Life
Today I was informed as I was walking my 32 first graders to lunch that I would be given a break by our amazing title teachers (teachers who pull students out of class who are below grade level to help them make significant strides towards catching up). I was grateful for a break in the action. I usually arrive at 7:00a.m to prep for all of the lessons I will be teaching that day: reading, math, and science. The students begin arriving at 7:35 and from the moment they step foot inside the building it is game time. After 5 hours of straight teaching I was happy to relinquish my little ones into other hands while I took a break to grab my lunch and take a bathroom break. I walked back to my room to find my principal and DCI (Director of Curriculum and Instruction) who informed me that my co-teacher and I would be the recipients of an extreme classroom makeover.
After an observation by my principal during a particularly challenging math lesson on place value (I felt like pulling my hair out) she decided that our current classroom set up was contributing to sensory overload for our kids... who have enough challenges without adding the inability to see the SMART board or hear us when we are teaching. I thought these "home" improvements would be made in the weeks to come, but I should have known better. My principal doesn't let moss grow under her feet. She started rolling up the carpet as she explained that we would need to find an alternate lesson plan to conduct outside of our classroom while they worked to move our math meeting bulletin board, white board, and rolling cabinets. I was so excited to start making changes that would help the kids focus and me to find my voice again (I lost it on Thursday this week).
However, that was not the end of this makeover. Unbeknownst to me or my co-teacher my DCI had sent an email asking for some help from anyone who was available to put our room back together. For those of you who have seen It's A Wonderful Life, the end scene comes to mind as I think about what happened next. Similar to George Bailey realizing the amazing community and family he lives in, I realized how many people were willing to give up their Friday afternoons to pitch in and put our class back together again. I counted over 10 staff members who came in to put down new transition tape, hang up posters, hang up bulletin boards, and generally clean and organize. I hope my gratitude was palpable. I could never say thank you enough ,not only for the manual labor but the feeling of support in knowing that other colleagues care about me and the kids in my class being successful.
When I first started working at my school I was informed by the other teachers that the reason why people continued to do this work was because of the incredible colleagues we all have. Thanks to their hard work and village mindset my Rochester yellow jackets now have a little more happy in their hive.
After an observation by my principal during a particularly challenging math lesson on place value (I felt like pulling my hair out) she decided that our current classroom set up was contributing to sensory overload for our kids... who have enough challenges without adding the inability to see the SMART board or hear us when we are teaching. I thought these "home" improvements would be made in the weeks to come, but I should have known better. My principal doesn't let moss grow under her feet. She started rolling up the carpet as she explained that we would need to find an alternate lesson plan to conduct outside of our classroom while they worked to move our math meeting bulletin board, white board, and rolling cabinets. I was so excited to start making changes that would help the kids focus and me to find my voice again (I lost it on Thursday this week).
However, that was not the end of this makeover. Unbeknownst to me or my co-teacher my DCI had sent an email asking for some help from anyone who was available to put our room back together. For those of you who have seen It's A Wonderful Life, the end scene comes to mind as I think about what happened next. Similar to George Bailey realizing the amazing community and family he lives in, I realized how many people were willing to give up their Friday afternoons to pitch in and put our class back together again. I counted over 10 staff members who came in to put down new transition tape, hang up posters, hang up bulletin boards, and generally clean and organize. I hope my gratitude was palpable. I could never say thank you enough ,not only for the manual labor but the feeling of support in knowing that other colleagues care about me and the kids in my class being successful.
When I first started working at my school I was informed by the other teachers that the reason why people continued to do this work was because of the incredible colleagues we all have. Thanks to their hard work and village mindset my Rochester yellow jackets now have a little more happy in their hive.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Redemption: a new story of self
Redemption, that is what
this year is about for me. Last year I lost my co-teacher, taught alone for 3
weeks, and tried and failed to teach a new teacher how to do her job while
continuing to do mine. I left the year feeling defeated, hopeless, and depressed.
Many of my students did not reach the accountability goals I set for them. At
least 2 of them left the school because their behavior in my class was so
atrocious, one of them charged my co-teacher with raised fists, another one
crawled in between my kidney table and the wall while screaming and crying. I
felt personally responsible for my students’ abandonment issues, their poor
behavior, and their academic misgivings. I was depressed for part of the year, not
feeling like myself especially when I had to rely on my roommate, MTLD (Manager of Teacher Leadership and Development), and
colleagues at work to simply finish the school year. I teacher swapped in two
separate classrooms to take a break from my own and was sent home from work one
day crying because I was so overwhelmed.
At the end of the year I was promised a move up to
first grade from Kindergarten and the opportunity to co-teach with another 2012
corps member who I respected for her organization and classroom management skills.
It was a promise that kept me going through most of April and May when my class
was still in disarray and 4 out of the 6 kindergarten teachers had quit. Three
weeks before I was supposed to return to school I found out I was being placed
with a teacher who was new to the preps. To say I was disappointed would be an
understatement. I started applying for other charter schools near my home in
Rochester and had a very difficult conversation with my DCI (Director of Curriculum and Instruction) over the phone
during which she told me that they would not be changing their minds about who
my co-teacher would be.
After sulking for several days I contacted my MTLD
who helped me come to a difficult but important epiphany, I was projecting all
my disappointment and perceived failure onto my new co-teacher, a woman I had
never met and never given a chance to. I decided that I was too young to
already become so bitter and let my bad experiences inform my new decisions. After
our discussion I emailed my new co-teacher with a list of what I hoped to be
rapport building questions.
We have worked hard to create a space where students
feel welcomed and it is my hope that they progressively feel a sense of
belonging, purpose and honor for each other. This year may not be perfect but I want to
give back the year that was stolen from my kindergartners last year. I want to
build our school’s community and thereby win our students’ trust back. We will
succeed this year and when we do we will find out what hope really means. Meliora.
Ever Better.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Baal Perazim
When the Philistines heard that David had been anointed king over Israel, they went up in full force to search for him, but David heard about it and went down to the stronghold. Now the Philistines had come and spread out in the Valley of Rephaim;so David inquired of the Lord, “Shall I go and attack the Philistines? Will you deliver them into my hands?”The Lord answered him, “Go, for I will surely deliver the Philistines into your hands.”
So David went to Baal Perazim, and there he defeated them. He said, “As waters break out, the Lord has broken out against my enemies before me.” So that place was called Baal Perazim. 2 Samuel 5:17-20
In the past 5 weeks there have been 6 different teachers covering in my classroom. I've sent students to the dean almost every single day for behavioral issues including defiance, fighting, threatening other students and sticking their tongues out at my new co-teacher. I have 7 students who are not on track to go first grade. You could say that the Philistines have come in full force. (Don't worry I'm not suggesting that I have been appointed as Queen over Village Prep). A wise friend once asked me, Who do you think God wants to be in this situation? It has stuck with me and right now I seek to know Baal Perazim, the God who breaks through.
I do have some breakthroughs to celebrate for in the midst of the storm. Jayson told me he wanted to try to do a math problem by himself. This is a child who if I let him would stand in front of his locker all day, watching the World go by. Jamari, who is habitually on yellow or red, had 2 green days in a row. In the middle of a temper tantrum I was able to calm Rayanna down by having her sit next to me while I administered a test to another student. Maranda got her coat off all by herself, even though I usually have to help her with the buttons.
In spite of the temper tantrums, eye rolling, and refusal to follow directions learning is still happening. My middle and high reading groups have made tremendous progress. They know all their letters and their sounds. They've memorized over 20 sight words and are gaining the skills to decode new words. They even know how to tell time by the hour and solve addition problems.
And here's to the breakthroughs that are still on their way.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Tears are Prayers
After breaking down at church to a woman I barely knew she gave me some words of wisdom, "tears are prayers"... in my case prayers for help. Since my co-teacher has left my students and I have been left in the wake of inconsistency, exhaustion, and wondering what we did wrong to make her go. Last week was spent attempting to maintain the schedule without having the people to maintain it. I was trying to manage 3 groups of students simultaneously and losing my voice in the process. I found out some things about myself... I am not as strong as I thought and nothing made me more disappointed in myself than yelling at students to get their attention.
It has taken a lot to go back to work and face these kids that are so important to me knowing that in some way I have failed them. I came back with a promise to remain calm even in the midst of frustrating student behaviors (crawling on the floor, refusing to follow directions, hording food and destroying school materials). Class went better today. It is still not ideal, but all we can do is persevere until my new co-teacher arrives and pray that she catches on quickly. Who knew that growing would be so painful?
In spite of all this there have been some glimmers of hope. The parents of my students have come together as a community to support our class until our new co-teacher arrives. One dad in particular simply astounded me with his gift of time. He works 12 hour shifts at a factory in town 6 days a week... what did he do on his day off? Read "It's Mine" to our class, stuffed all my BEE (Bring Everything Everyday) binders, and helped me with math. I've also had parents switch their schedules and take time off of work to come and help with the classroom. I couldn't be more grateful.
It has taken a lot to go back to work and face these kids that are so important to me knowing that in some way I have failed them. I came back with a promise to remain calm even in the midst of frustrating student behaviors (crawling on the floor, refusing to follow directions, hording food and destroying school materials). Class went better today. It is still not ideal, but all we can do is persevere until my new co-teacher arrives and pray that she catches on quickly. Who knew that growing would be so painful?
In spite of all this there have been some glimmers of hope. The parents of my students have come together as a community to support our class until our new co-teacher arrives. One dad in particular simply astounded me with his gift of time. He works 12 hour shifts at a factory in town 6 days a week... what did he do on his day off? Read "It's Mine" to our class, stuffed all my BEE (Bring Everything Everyday) binders, and helped me with math. I've also had parents switch their schedules and take time off of work to come and help with the classroom. I couldn't be more grateful.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Breakthrough Week
This week has made me proud to be a Kindergarten teacher. I watched as several of my struggling students made significant academic and behavioral breakthroughs. It started off with Miracle. Each month we learn 12 new sight words that our students are supposed to memorize in an effort to help them become better readers. When they learn their 12 sight words they earn an ice cream scoop on their sight word ice cream bowl. So far only 7 students have earned their first scoop. I hadn't tested Miracle yet but I wasn't expecting anything spectacular since she struggles with reading because of an eye problem and speech impediment. Against all odds, she spouted off every sight word on the first scoop list. We celebrated her success by stopping the whole class to give her a cheer and watch as she put her scoop up on the board.
Miracle's unexpected success would have been enough for the week but then math meeting came and I again was surprised by the progress that is happening in my class. During math meeting I give jobs to each of the students, several of which involve leading a song. One job is to sing the date (Today is Sunday, November 11, 2012) and have the other students repeat it back. My Chinese student who is still learning English ended up with this job last week. I expected to help him sing his part for the other kids to follow, but he blew me away by singing the whole thing by himself. I was so proud of his courageous efforts to try a language even when he is not sure how it is supposed to sound I almost cried. Again my co-teacher and stopped the class to have Shifeng repeat his amazing performance.
To top the week off I had two students finally take responsibility for their own actions and apologize for their previous behavior. During Writer's Workshop Dontez (a student who is habitually absent and tardy) told me he was sorry for taking my things (permanent marker that got all over his hands, pencils, left over change, etc) and that he was going to stop taking them. Then Jamari (a student who never can keep the same pencil for a day even with it tethered to his desk) raises his hand to tell me that he is not going to lose his stuff anymore by keeping it in his pencil pouch.
Despite the long hours, pressure from administration, and the overwhelming nature of this work I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than teaching these kids, this year, at this school. Here's to more breakthroughs! Way to go God.
Miracle's unexpected success would have been enough for the week but then math meeting came and I again was surprised by the progress that is happening in my class. During math meeting I give jobs to each of the students, several of which involve leading a song. One job is to sing the date (Today is Sunday, November 11, 2012) and have the other students repeat it back. My Chinese student who is still learning English ended up with this job last week. I expected to help him sing his part for the other kids to follow, but he blew me away by singing the whole thing by himself. I was so proud of his courageous efforts to try a language even when he is not sure how it is supposed to sound I almost cried. Again my co-teacher and stopped the class to have Shifeng repeat his amazing performance.
To top the week off I had two students finally take responsibility for their own actions and apologize for their previous behavior. During Writer's Workshop Dontez (a student who is habitually absent and tardy) told me he was sorry for taking my things (permanent marker that got all over his hands, pencils, left over change, etc) and that he was going to stop taking them. Then Jamari (a student who never can keep the same pencil for a day even with it tethered to his desk) raises his hand to tell me that he is not going to lose his stuff anymore by keeping it in his pencil pouch.
Despite the long hours, pressure from administration, and the overwhelming nature of this work I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than teaching these kids, this year, at this school. Here's to more breakthroughs! Way to go God.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Things I Never Thought I Would Say to a Student
Some breaking election news from my Kindergarten classroom. We elected Barack Obama with vote of 18 and now for the real kicker... the runner up was Gary Johnson of the Libertarian Party.
After having some friends over for dinner this week I realized how ridiculous and hilarious my job is sometimes. These were some of the one liners we were laughing about:
Richard- Take the deli meat out of your pocket
T:How did your desk fall over?
S:Magic
T: So Magic pulled your desk over on you?
Stop digging a whole into the wall.
Take the diamond out of your mouth
Stop putting your hand in your mouth and flinging your spit on everyone.
T: What has gotten into you today? Why are you acting this way?
S: My tie is too tight
T:"Whose broad stripes and bright stars." What could our national anthem be talking about?
S: Zebras
S:Miss Scott there is garges all over the floor?
T: What?
S: GARGES
T: Can you use the word in another sentence?
S: You know for the garges can.
T: OH! Garbage.
After having some friends over for dinner this week I realized how ridiculous and hilarious my job is sometimes. These were some of the one liners we were laughing about:
Richard- Take the deli meat out of your pocket
T:How did your desk fall over?
S:Magic
T: So Magic pulled your desk over on you?
Stop digging a whole into the wall.
Take the diamond out of your mouth
Stop putting your hand in your mouth and flinging your spit on everyone.
T: What has gotten into you today? Why are you acting this way?
S: My tie is too tight
T:"Whose broad stripes and bright stars." What could our national anthem be talking about?
S: Zebras
S:Miss Scott there is garges all over the floor?
T: What?
S: GARGES
T: Can you use the word in another sentence?
S: You know for the garges can.
T: OH! Garbage.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
I'd Be Glad To
When I was growing up my mom and dad always emphasized having a good attitude whenever we were asked to do something ie. wash the dishes, sweep the floor, take care of a younger sibling (you get the point). This principle was especially emphasized when the task was something that I didn't like doing (vacuuming) and I remember getting more chores when I didn't say the key phrase "I'd be glad to". A lot of the times my emotions didn't follow my spoken words but it forced me to be conscious of how I was reacting to a situation. Why am I telling you all of this? Because I find myself using this same phrase a lot in my classroom.
Two students in particular often throw tantrums when they are not called on frequently enough or do not get what they want. It made my day today when one of them told me "I'd be glad to Miss Scott" after I asked him to stack the chairs. The other one has not come to that place yet. She is a student I have mentioned before... the infamous Diamond. Today's fits were over getting a check for making humming and singing noises while I was teaching, not getting the color of juice she wanted, and getting a check for not controlling her body while at her desk. Whenever she has a bad attitude I give her an opportunity to rewind the moment and try it again with some behavior coaching. This sometimes takes 3 or more attempts. I am looking forward to the day that she says I'd be glad to with a smile on her face.
As much as I tell my students to have an "I'd be glad to" attitude I often find myself whining or complaining in reaction to unforeseen events. I guess I need the opportunity to rewind my moments and try again too. This week my co-teacher was out of the classroom for the 4th time this year which meant 28 five year olds by myself with an ad-lib schedule for the day. I became stressed, anxious, and frustrated which turned into an adult melt down of questioning why I had gotten into teaching and bemoaning the upcoming days. However, Monday rolled around and thanks to the many prayers from my friends and family we had a great day. It turned out all of my anxiety was for nothing.
My Dad gave me this Bible verse and it pretty much sums up my action plan for the rest of the year. Thanks Dad for still speaking promises over my life!
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6
Thursday, October 4, 2012
What do you want to be when you grow up?
If you ever need a good laugh or a smile ask a five year old what they want to be when they grow up and how they are going to get there. Some responses from the lunch dates I have been having with my kiddos....
Spider man... I need to get big
Batman.... I need a car and to be big (I tried to steer this conversation (unsuccessfully) towards the importance of protecting people and how we could do this in the classroom since this child happens to be a behavioral issue most days)
Cheerleader
Doctor
Diver (this one was one of my favorites)
Watch out world an entire generation of new superheroes is coming!
One more vignette from this week. Every morning I write a message to the students, usually talking about one of our Viking Virtues and someone in our class or in history who has showed this virtue. A couple of days ago I wrote a message about the reunification of East and West Germany because they had been reunited on the same day 60 years ago to talk about perseverance. Explaining these concepts to 5 year olds can be tricky but I had a spur of the moment thought that went pretty well. I told them what happened in Germany would be like if I cut the carpet that they sit on in half and one group of students would be with my co-teacher and one group would be with me. They would never get to see each other and they weren't allowed to be friends. I didn't know if what I said sank in until today during math meeting when we were talking about another war and one of my students said " like when some scholars were on one side of the carpet and we were on the other side", which was followed up by another student who raised her hand and said if my brother was on the other side of the wall I would crawl over it to get to him. I love it when my kids really "get it".
On a different note two of the students I ate lunch with today talked about how their parents were in jail. My heart broke as they talked about a parent knocking on the door and beating up the mom. It wasn't just what they said... but how they said it, as if this were how normal life should look. I asked them if they were scared and they said yes. It is times like these that I pray that the comfort of Jesus and his protection is finding a place in their homes even if I can't talk with them about it at school. Please join me in praying that the families I work with would come to know Jesus and that the kids would be safe.
Spider man... I need to get big
Batman.... I need a car and to be big (I tried to steer this conversation (unsuccessfully) towards the importance of protecting people and how we could do this in the classroom since this child happens to be a behavioral issue most days)
Cheerleader
Doctor
Diver (this one was one of my favorites)
Watch out world an entire generation of new superheroes is coming!
One more vignette from this week. Every morning I write a message to the students, usually talking about one of our Viking Virtues and someone in our class or in history who has showed this virtue. A couple of days ago I wrote a message about the reunification of East and West Germany because they had been reunited on the same day 60 years ago to talk about perseverance. Explaining these concepts to 5 year olds can be tricky but I had a spur of the moment thought that went pretty well. I told them what happened in Germany would be like if I cut the carpet that they sit on in half and one group of students would be with my co-teacher and one group would be with me. They would never get to see each other and they weren't allowed to be friends. I didn't know if what I said sank in until today during math meeting when we were talking about another war and one of my students said " like when some scholars were on one side of the carpet and we were on the other side", which was followed up by another student who raised her hand and said if my brother was on the other side of the wall I would crawl over it to get to him. I love it when my kids really "get it".
On a different note two of the students I ate lunch with today talked about how their parents were in jail. My heart broke as they talked about a parent knocking on the door and beating up the mom. It wasn't just what they said... but how they said it, as if this were how normal life should look. I asked them if they were scared and they said yes. It is times like these that I pray that the comfort of Jesus and his protection is finding a place in their homes even if I can't talk with them about it at school. Please join me in praying that the families I work with would come to know Jesus and that the kids would be safe.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Overheard in CSU
At my school each classroom is themed as a college or university to make our students aware of college at a young age and encourage them to see themselves there. My classroom is themed after Cleveland State University (CSU). This week I am teaching my students about the Viking (our mascot) Virtue of Courage. I was so proud today when I had a scholar, who is currently in the middle of a custody battle and appears to have sustained some type of emotional disturbance, wrote his name on his paper for the first time.
This week I just wanted to regale you with some things I have caught my Vikings saying....
At a conversation I had during lunch:
Student 1: My grandma ran over a deer and it was dead
STudent 2: (continuing the conversation?) and my brother got a buzz lightyear for Christmas and we had to go clean out our closets to make room for the new toys
Me: How could I be a better teacher?
Student: Taller lockers. I am big and tall, see? (stands up to show me)
Student: Miss Scott can we snack up the chairs?
Me: snack them up or stack them up?
Student: snack them
Me: Yes you can STACK them.
Now to the tougher part of my job. I have a student who has missed over 10 days of school (1/3 of the year so far). After talking with mom, I found out that she is the victim of domestic violence and currently being stalked by the father of her son, which was her excuse for not bringing him to school. I decided to call everyday at 7:00 am to make sure she was on the bus with her son. The student is in my lowest group and has yet to independently write his name. He came to school today, but we have a long road ahead. Please pray for the mom and the son.
This week I just wanted to regale you with some things I have caught my Vikings saying....
At a conversation I had during lunch:
Student 1: My grandma ran over a deer and it was dead
STudent 2: (continuing the conversation?) and my brother got a buzz lightyear for Christmas and we had to go clean out our closets to make room for the new toys
Me: How could I be a better teacher?
Student: Taller lockers. I am big and tall, see? (stands up to show me)
Student: Miss Scott can we snack up the chairs?
Me: snack them up or stack them up?
Student: snack them
Me: Yes you can STACK them.
Now to the tougher part of my job. I have a student who has missed over 10 days of school (1/3 of the year so far). After talking with mom, I found out that she is the victim of domestic violence and currently being stalked by the father of her son, which was her excuse for not bringing him to school. I decided to call everyday at 7:00 am to make sure she was on the bus with her son. The student is in my lowest group and has yet to independently write his name. He came to school today, but we have a long road ahead. Please pray for the mom and the son.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
I just can't stop thinking about the paint
9.11.12
It all started when my friends Montre, Ryan, and Chaos (named changed) had to sit out of free choice at the end of our day last Friday because of hitting, bumping, or talking out turn more than once throughout the day. I went to the carpet where they were commiserating with each other to talk with them about how to change their behavior so they would get to participate in fun activities next time. I sat down with Montre first who was crying. I first employed what I am calling the (patent pending) Miss Scott breathing routine... talk 3 deep breaths, get a tissue, by the time you walk back I need you to tell me what is the matter in an adult voice. Next, I told Montre he was sitting out because he had pushed past his neighbors to get back to his desk. When I asked him why he did it he said that he was trying to get back to his desk because I had told all the students to get there quickly. I asked him if it was ever ok to push someone to follow another direction (ethical dilemma for a Kindergartner). He said no and I proceeded to ask him what he would do next time. He told he would "wait patiently" until all the other scholars (what our school calls students) to get back to their desks before he tried to get back to his. I told him I was proud that he had come up with what he needed to do next time, but that he was still going to have to sit out of painting (our free choice for the afternoon) because of his actions. I moved on to my next sobbing Kindergartner to discuss why he was sitting out of painting. About 3 minutes into my conversation with sobbing Kindergartner number 2 Montre crawls over to me looks up at me with bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks and says.... "I just can't stop thinking about that paint." with all the sincerity a 5 year can muster. I had to hold in the chuckle building inside so he didn't get the drift that I didn't take his emotions seriously. I told him he was just going to have to try and change how he was thinking.
And so begins a new week just waiting for more great stories to unfold. I'm praying especially for ideas to reach a Chinese student I have who speaks almost zero English and is incredibly active. I have been unsuccessful so far in keeping his attention for an entire lesson.
It all started when my friends Montre, Ryan, and Chaos (named changed) had to sit out of free choice at the end of our day last Friday because of hitting, bumping, or talking out turn more than once throughout the day. I went to the carpet where they were commiserating with each other to talk with them about how to change their behavior so they would get to participate in fun activities next time. I sat down with Montre first who was crying. I first employed what I am calling the (patent pending) Miss Scott breathing routine... talk 3 deep breaths, get a tissue, by the time you walk back I need you to tell me what is the matter in an adult voice. Next, I told Montre he was sitting out because he had pushed past his neighbors to get back to his desk. When I asked him why he did it he said that he was trying to get back to his desk because I had told all the students to get there quickly. I asked him if it was ever ok to push someone to follow another direction (ethical dilemma for a Kindergartner). He said no and I proceeded to ask him what he would do next time. He told he would "wait patiently" until all the other scholars (what our school calls students) to get back to their desks before he tried to get back to his. I told him I was proud that he had come up with what he needed to do next time, but that he was still going to have to sit out of painting (our free choice for the afternoon) because of his actions. I moved on to my next sobbing Kindergartner to discuss why he was sitting out of painting. About 3 minutes into my conversation with sobbing Kindergartner number 2 Montre crawls over to me looks up at me with bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks and says.... "I just can't stop thinking about that paint." with all the sincerity a 5 year can muster. I had to hold in the chuckle building inside so he didn't get the drift that I didn't take his emotions seriously. I told him he was just going to have to try and change how he was thinking.
And so begins a new week just waiting for more great stories to unfold. I'm praying especially for ideas to reach a Chinese student I have who speaks almost zero English and is incredibly active. I have been unsuccessful so far in keeping his attention for an entire lesson.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
September 3, 2012
A Letter to My Former Students
Dear Upward Bound students-
I look back at my years tutoring, directing and teaching you fondly but now with a twinge of regret. I'm sorry I tried so hard to get you to like me and be my friends rather than be your teacher. I'm sorry I didn't make my expectations clear and your pathways to achieve them clearer. I'm sorry for the times I didn't understand all the difficulties you had going on at home and I hope you have learned to overcome them. I know that you learned, but I also know that you could have learned so much more if I had known what I do now, then. My promise to you is that I will keep striving to become a better teacher.
Sincerely,
Natalie Scott
The benefit of hindsight is that it is 20/20. In the few years I have had teaching I feel that I have learned so much, which is wonderful and terrible. I sincerely hope that as I was learning I didn't permanently damage any student's learning. However, the only way to get better is to keep practicing and implementing feedback from my more experienced counterparts.
Now on to a new story from thew week:
The past 3 weeks school has been in session I have had several run ins with a particular student on the subject of controlling her tongue. I will call her Diamond for the sake of the story. The first time she spoke out of turn I gave her a check, then another, when she got the third and had to move to yellow on the behavior tracker she started to cry which mellowed into a pout for the rest of the day. Seeing that mere checks weren't the way to change her behavior I tried to explain to Diamond how disrespectful it was to speak during another scholar's turn or when the teacher was talking since one of our core virtues was respect and I had been highlighting it in our community meetings each day. This only produced more tears and pouting. Next, I tried snagging her in the morning while she was going to her locker and talking to her about how she was a leader in the class and that everyone would do whatever she did. (Diamond just didn't realize what a climate changer she was.... check out Pastor Josh's sermon http://www.elimgospel.net/media.php?pageID=146) I thought that talk would turn the tide but Diamond was swiftly back at talking at inappropriate times giving her opinion whenever she felt like it. Last Friday, Diamond got to red on the behavior tracker before half the day was over and she was a melting, pouting, crying puddle at her desk. I decided to try a different tactic. I asked her why she wasn't allowed to talk when others were talking and she whimpered that she would get a check. I wanted her to see past the checks to why it was disruptive to her and those around her so I decided to make her the teacher and I would pretend to be her as a student. She attempted to teach the lesson and I talked when I wasn't supposed to. Diamond gave me a check to which I replied with crying, pouting, and entirely over dramatized carrying on. Diamond started to smile and I asked her about how much teaching she was able to accomplish while I was crying. I think she started to see how her actions impacted those around her. I would love to say by the end of the day Diamond spoke and kept quiet when she was supposed to, however, she only made it back to yellow by the end of the day. Apparently, this is one of those times when I will have just have to keep using my imagination for creative ways to teach controlling one's tongue.
SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!
A Letter to My Former Students
Dear Upward Bound students-
I look back at my years tutoring, directing and teaching you fondly but now with a twinge of regret. I'm sorry I tried so hard to get you to like me and be my friends rather than be your teacher. I'm sorry I didn't make my expectations clear and your pathways to achieve them clearer. I'm sorry for the times I didn't understand all the difficulties you had going on at home and I hope you have learned to overcome them. I know that you learned, but I also know that you could have learned so much more if I had known what I do now, then. My promise to you is that I will keep striving to become a better teacher.
Sincerely,
Natalie Scott
The benefit of hindsight is that it is 20/20. In the few years I have had teaching I feel that I have learned so much, which is wonderful and terrible. I sincerely hope that as I was learning I didn't permanently damage any student's learning. However, the only way to get better is to keep practicing and implementing feedback from my more experienced counterparts.
Now on to a new story from thew week:
The past 3 weeks school has been in session I have had several run ins with a particular student on the subject of controlling her tongue. I will call her Diamond for the sake of the story. The first time she spoke out of turn I gave her a check, then another, when she got the third and had to move to yellow on the behavior tracker she started to cry which mellowed into a pout for the rest of the day. Seeing that mere checks weren't the way to change her behavior I tried to explain to Diamond how disrespectful it was to speak during another scholar's turn or when the teacher was talking since one of our core virtues was respect and I had been highlighting it in our community meetings each day. This only produced more tears and pouting. Next, I tried snagging her in the morning while she was going to her locker and talking to her about how she was a leader in the class and that everyone would do whatever she did. (Diamond just didn't realize what a climate changer she was.... check out Pastor Josh's sermon http://www.elimgospel.net/media.php?pageID=146) I thought that talk would turn the tide but Diamond was swiftly back at talking at inappropriate times giving her opinion whenever she felt like it. Last Friday, Diamond got to red on the behavior tracker before half the day was over and she was a melting, pouting, crying puddle at her desk. I decided to try a different tactic. I asked her why she wasn't allowed to talk when others were talking and she whimpered that she would get a check. I wanted her to see past the checks to why it was disruptive to her and those around her so I decided to make her the teacher and I would pretend to be her as a student. She attempted to teach the lesson and I talked when I wasn't supposed to. Diamond gave me a check to which I replied with crying, pouting, and entirely over dramatized carrying on. Diamond started to smile and I asked her about how much teaching she was able to accomplish while I was crying. I think she started to see how her actions impacted those around her. I would love to say by the end of the day Diamond spoke and kept quiet when she was supposed to, however, she only made it back to yellow by the end of the day. Apparently, this is one of those times when I will have just have to keep using my imagination for creative ways to teach controlling one's tongue.
SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
8/22/12
You know how some people test the water of a pool to make sure it is the right temperature? I've never been one of those people. And once again I've found myself cannon balling into the water... this time the water is working in downtown Cleveland at a charter school with all minority and low income students (and not just any students either... Kindergartners). I see this blog as an opportunity to share the great challenges and growth I have already begun to encounter as I serve this population.I also see it as a chance to reflect, which I don't make a lot of time for these days.
Now on to the interesting stories. Kindergartners are an interesting breed... on the one hand they pick their noses, put their hands in their mouths, and need help with everything from zipping up pants to tucking in shirts. On the other hand they write their names for the first time in your presence, learn how to read, and truly do say the darndest things. So with that I will recount some of the moments so far that have made me smile, cry, or just shake my head.
SMILE MOMENTS:
-me: What month is it?
students: Tuesday
-me: What number comes before thirteen?
student: two teen?
-me: What words starts with the L sound
students: alligator pronounced "ligator"
-I found out that this week that "use it" means they have to go to the bathroom
-having a conversation with one of my louder students about being a leader and watching her demeanor change in class
CRY MOMENTS:
-finding out one of my kindergartners might have herpes
-custody battles
-working 60+ hours a week and still not feeling like everything that needs to be done is done
SHAKING MY HEAD MOMENTS:
-one of my favorite trouble makers started off the year evading discipline from me and other teachers by climbing underneath desks. I am happy to report their have been no desk incidents this week.
-a new student vomits in my classroom twice. We call to have her get picked up and find out that not only do we not have any contact information for the parents, but we don't even know the student's last name... and being a Kindergartner she can't write it for us.
-my roster has changed over 10 times since the beginning of school
-a mom walked in during the middle of class today to have a discussion about the reading backpacks we sent home
-my co-teacher left sick in the afternoon leaving me with 30 restless students to look after for the rest of the day, thank God for help from the other staff.
You know how some people test the water of a pool to make sure it is the right temperature? I've never been one of those people. And once again I've found myself cannon balling into the water... this time the water is working in downtown Cleveland at a charter school with all minority and low income students (and not just any students either... Kindergartners). I see this blog as an opportunity to share the great challenges and growth I have already begun to encounter as I serve this population.I also see it as a chance to reflect, which I don't make a lot of time for these days.
Now on to the interesting stories. Kindergartners are an interesting breed... on the one hand they pick their noses, put their hands in their mouths, and need help with everything from zipping up pants to tucking in shirts. On the other hand they write their names for the first time in your presence, learn how to read, and truly do say the darndest things. So with that I will recount some of the moments so far that have made me smile, cry, or just shake my head.
SMILE MOMENTS:
-me: What month is it?
students: Tuesday
-me: What number comes before thirteen?
student: two teen?
-me: What words starts with the L sound
students: alligator pronounced "ligator"
-I found out that this week that "use it" means they have to go to the bathroom
-having a conversation with one of my louder students about being a leader and watching her demeanor change in class
CRY MOMENTS:
-finding out one of my kindergartners might have herpes
-custody battles
-working 60+ hours a week and still not feeling like everything that needs to be done is done
SHAKING MY HEAD MOMENTS:
-one of my favorite trouble makers started off the year evading discipline from me and other teachers by climbing underneath desks. I am happy to report their have been no desk incidents this week.
-a new student vomits in my classroom twice. We call to have her get picked up and find out that not only do we not have any contact information for the parents, but we don't even know the student's last name... and being a Kindergartner she can't write it for us.
-my roster has changed over 10 times since the beginning of school
-a mom walked in during the middle of class today to have a discussion about the reading backpacks we sent home
-my co-teacher left sick in the afternoon leaving me with 30 restless students to look after for the rest of the day, thank God for help from the other staff.
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