Last week I had a day that should only happen in movies it was was so bad. First, I received some feedback from an observation in my classroom and discussed why I was so frustrated with my classroom set up. The phone call ended with me crying because after all the reaching out I had done to colleagues and admin I could not see a light at the end of the tunnel for me or my students. Every suggestion I made was shot down. Then I went to the Kids in Need station where they refused to let me shop with my co-teacher because my registration hadn't gone through. The manager finally let me walk around and then found me talking with my co-teacher about some poster board and told me "you'r not registered to shop, good-bye..." The icing on the cake was an email I received that dropped me into the "depths of despair", as Anne of Green Gables would say it. One of my administrators told me I wasn't coming from a place of love or understanding towards my students which was causing my instructional delivery to be negative and overwhelming. I was told to "be nicer". I cried for most of the night and contemplated for the 1000th time quitting my job.
This week the same administrator that had been quick to give so much feedback came into my classroom to teach a lesson. She had beautiful anchor charts, assigned talking partners, and a clearly well planned lesson (not so unlike several of mine). However, my challenges quickly became her challenges. She struggled to get them all on the carpet from their desks and played the game of putting out behavioral fires while attempting to teach a lesson on teamwork.( La'Mya stop banging the pipe...Jaden come sit on the carpet. Why are you so upset right now? Carlos I need your hands folded and legs folded, you may not lay on the floor.) There were 6 adults in the room (superintendent, director of teacher development,director of curriculum and instruction, principal, me and my co-teacher and still very little learning was happening. There was a small part of me that wanted to say... "I told you so," but I refrained. She informed me that day that she now understood why my co-teacher and I were both so frustrated and overwhelmed. As my co-teacher and I prepped for parent teacher conferences we discovered that 16 of our students are below grade level in math and reading and at least 10 of them need an individual behavior contracts. I still feel like my room is a circus, but the productive thing that came out of this chaos was an achievable action plan to attack the biggest problems that our classroom is facing, a lack of respect for themselves and others.
At the end of the day today each student had to share with the class how they would make our family a better place. Antonio told me he was going to be respectful to his neighbors and stop moving his desk away from them. Mikal told me he was going to stop disrupting the class with tantrums. Melissa said she wasn't going to play in the bathrooms anymore. I am looking forward to a time when all these promises start coming to fruition.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Friday, September 13, 2013
Extra
This week has been a lesson in the word extra. For those of you who don't converse in cityspeak Extra means too much as in that boy's hat is extra or that girl's hair is extra or in my case those kids of yours need a lot of extra. My class is comprised of 15 students receiving title services (testing significantly below grade level in math or reading), 3 retained first graders, 2 IEPs (Individualized Education Plans), 4 students who are currently seeing a therapist and about a dozen more who need to be seeing one. To say that my co-teacher and I's job is tough is an understatement. I often make the analogy that we are doing a juggling routine of trying to keep all our kids learning and happy and all too often one or more of the balls drop.
As an example let me share with you a snippet within our classroom. I greet each student as they come to their lockers. B is almost always in a gloomy mood and I am lucky to get about 4 words out of her before she goes to class. J refuses to take ownership of his action (pushing someone out of line in the bathroom) yesterday and I have a 10 minute discussion with him about using kind words and kind actions. When I arrive in the classrooms after checking all my scholars homework I find M off the carpet walking around, S hugging the pipe that is next to our carpet, B crying at her desk and C with his back to Mrs. S and his feet stuck out. I begin triage. I ask M and B to sit on the carpet, then begin threatening with a countdown and a consequence. She and he comply but are both angry. I remove C from the carpet and have him sit in time out. He is frustrated and started beating the wall with the chair. I take 5 minutes to de-escalate him talking in a calm voice and asking him why he is frustrated. I tell him what he needs to do to get out of time out and move on to S who is still hugging the pipe. I issue a consequence and S decides to fall on the carpet. I issue another consequence and remind S that if he wants to achieve his incentive of being the line leader he can only get 2 consequences before I take his job away. S chooses to sit up but he is still slightly angry. All of this takes place between 8:00 and 8:15. In a word... extra.
So what do you do as a teacher who knows a new trick to try with each of these challenging kids but has so many of them it is difficult to implement them consistently? So far I have reached out to other colleagues with more experience and done my best to get parents in the loop. However, these interventions haven't been entirely successful. So that leaves me in this uncomfortable space of knowing I can't meet all of my kids needs and wanting desperately to see that they are successful. It is here that my roommate and Dad reminded of vitally important information. These students are not mine first. They belong to God first and if I equate my success with how my students perform I will constantly be on a roller coaster of circumstances. On the other hand, if I trust Him to provide for my students and place my success in the finished work of the cross I open myself to the Kingdom perspective for each of my kids that God has entrusted to me for this year... and in a word provide all the extra they need.
"Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."
-Psalm 73: 23-26
As an example let me share with you a snippet within our classroom. I greet each student as they come to their lockers. B is almost always in a gloomy mood and I am lucky to get about 4 words out of her before she goes to class. J refuses to take ownership of his action (pushing someone out of line in the bathroom) yesterday and I have a 10 minute discussion with him about using kind words and kind actions. When I arrive in the classrooms after checking all my scholars homework I find M off the carpet walking around, S hugging the pipe that is next to our carpet, B crying at her desk and C with his back to Mrs. S and his feet stuck out. I begin triage. I ask M and B to sit on the carpet, then begin threatening with a countdown and a consequence. She and he comply but are both angry. I remove C from the carpet and have him sit in time out. He is frustrated and started beating the wall with the chair. I take 5 minutes to de-escalate him talking in a calm voice and asking him why he is frustrated. I tell him what he needs to do to get out of time out and move on to S who is still hugging the pipe. I issue a consequence and S decides to fall on the carpet. I issue another consequence and remind S that if he wants to achieve his incentive of being the line leader he can only get 2 consequences before I take his job away. S chooses to sit up but he is still slightly angry. All of this takes place between 8:00 and 8:15. In a word... extra.
So what do you do as a teacher who knows a new trick to try with each of these challenging kids but has so many of them it is difficult to implement them consistently? So far I have reached out to other colleagues with more experience and done my best to get parents in the loop. However, these interventions haven't been entirely successful. So that leaves me in this uncomfortable space of knowing I can't meet all of my kids needs and wanting desperately to see that they are successful. It is here that my roommate and Dad reminded of vitally important information. These students are not mine first. They belong to God first and if I equate my success with how my students perform I will constantly be on a roller coaster of circumstances. On the other hand, if I trust Him to provide for my students and place my success in the finished work of the cross I open myself to the Kingdom perspective for each of my kids that God has entrusted to me for this year... and in a word provide all the extra they need.
"Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."
-Psalm 73: 23-26
Friday, September 6, 2013
Full Circle
This week was tryouts for the first volleyball team that our school has ever had (no not my first graders, our sister middle school, Entrepreneurship Prep). I hadn't realized how much I missed coaching until the first day of tryouts where I got to give my girls a pretty good speech. "I deal with 1st graders... that I love all day long, but if you start acting like one of my first graders you will not be playing on this team." We had 32 girls try out for only 12 spots and it broke my heart not to find a way to have all the girls play on two teams. However, I am so excited to get to invest in these 12 lives and give them another incentive to do well in school.
One life in particular has a special meaning to me... one that deserves a little back story from last year. Imagine teaching a class where every child is following directions except one little girl, who refuses to listen to you no matter what you do. I had her eat breakfast with me each morning while I greeted scholars at their lockers. I made her a special behavior chart for her desk. My dean gave her a specialized incentive in order to help her behave in class. I called her parents. I brought her grandma in for a conference. I got her grandma to observe her in class. I tried framing directions positively. I tried tough love. I tried giving her breaks in other classrooms (when I could get her to leave our room). I tried taking away computers, specials, etc. I tried taking her to the library on Saturdays. I tried talking to her therapist and working to create a behavior plan. None of these attempts were successful so she was finally asked to leave the school, which was incredibly bitter-sweet. On the one hand, I was grateful for the opportunity to finally build our classroom culture and on the other I watched all the investment in our relationship walk out the door without ever feeling like I broke through.
What does this have to do with my middle school volleyball team? Her older sister tried out and was one of the few who made it. I told her to tell her younger sister how much I missed her and that I still thought about her. Lo and behold the second day of tryouts J and T (her brother who was also dismissed from our school for behavior issues) showed up and both of them gave me giant hugs and told me about their new school (another successful charter) and how happy they seemed. It was medicine for my heart to see J smiling and excited about life again and (selfishly) to know that I handed completely screwed up her education. I look forward to investing in her older sister's life and giving back to their family. My hope is that they will know how much our school cares about each of the scholars in our Village.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a]have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:12
One life in particular has a special meaning to me... one that deserves a little back story from last year. Imagine teaching a class where every child is following directions except one little girl, who refuses to listen to you no matter what you do. I had her eat breakfast with me each morning while I greeted scholars at their lockers. I made her a special behavior chart for her desk. My dean gave her a specialized incentive in order to help her behave in class. I called her parents. I brought her grandma in for a conference. I got her grandma to observe her in class. I tried framing directions positively. I tried tough love. I tried giving her breaks in other classrooms (when I could get her to leave our room). I tried taking away computers, specials, etc. I tried taking her to the library on Saturdays. I tried talking to her therapist and working to create a behavior plan. None of these attempts were successful so she was finally asked to leave the school, which was incredibly bitter-sweet. On the one hand, I was grateful for the opportunity to finally build our classroom culture and on the other I watched all the investment in our relationship walk out the door without ever feeling like I broke through.
What does this have to do with my middle school volleyball team? Her older sister tried out and was one of the few who made it. I told her to tell her younger sister how much I missed her and that I still thought about her. Lo and behold the second day of tryouts J and T (her brother who was also dismissed from our school for behavior issues) showed up and both of them gave me giant hugs and told me about their new school (another successful charter) and how happy they seemed. It was medicine for my heart to see J smiling and excited about life again and (selfishly) to know that I handed completely screwed up her education. I look forward to investing in her older sister's life and giving back to their family. My hope is that they will know how much our school cares about each of the scholars in our Village.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a]have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:12
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